Stay Focused

Stan Zabka’s passion in life has always been music. At five years old, you would have found Stan taking piano lessons, piano lessons that cost 50 cents a week. That was quite an investment that his mother made and it surely turned into success. As an adult, he worked as a page boy at NBC and wrote music on the side. His specialty was writing musical themes. As his professional life evolved, he worked with Perry Como, Steve Allen, Jack Pan and many others. He even was the associate director of the Johnny Carson show and wrote the original Tonight’s Show theme song.

 Stan never gave up, no matter how much he was confronted with unsuccessful attempts to attract producers in the entertainment industry. He truly believed that; 1) you find what you’re good at, you make it your own and you stay on track. Just beyond those next hills is the answer.

Forgiveness

Following a regular PSA test, the doctors reported to Joel Samuels that he had prostate cancer and this cancer was aggressive. After removing the prostrate, 12 months passed with no issue until his PSA test indicated the cancer was coming back. Since, he has taken drugs and weathered 37 days of radiation.

 Joel has self reflected on his life experiences since he learned of his cancer condition. Life is not a static event. He has realized that trying to change people to what may help them in their lives doesn’t really work, even when done out of love. It’s better to remain quiet.

 Joel emphasizes that it is best to resolve past interpersonal issues by owning up to them by apologizing and asking for forgiveness. It is also important to take these same lessons and move on from there, not continue the same behavior.

 Today, Joel wants to feel that he has a clean slate when it’s time to say goodbye.

Never Give Up

Four years into retirement, Dee Samuels is still passionate with life. Today, she competes in road bike races in California and as far away as Utah. Dee has always had a drive to engage new opportunities and was willing to face the unknown. At 18, she was finishing at a two year college when her dance instructor asked her to audition as a dancer in a European tour. One thing led to another. She got the job, met a guy and a short time after returning from Europe she left her New Jersey home for life in California. Later in life she decided to become a lawyer in a town that had minimal opportunities of this sort. She found a way to move to San Francisco and successfully found a law school, obtained her degree and passed the bar. Before she even made her resume, she met a very prominent family practice attorney and within 30 minutes of conversation she was offered a job. Guess what? Yes indeed.; she accepted the job with no hesitation.

Dee feels it’s necessary to take risks in life. It’s important to feel good about yourself whether you find success or find that it doesn’t work out. It doesn’t diminish who you are. Explore where your successes lie and how it satisfies you.  Dee whole-hardily believes that you “Never Give Up”.

These traits will also serve each of us when the unexpected and uncontrollable circumstances occur in our futures.

Be Honest with Yourself

Dan Giesing’s love was in agriculture. He always wanted to be a farmer but his work lead him to San Diego and a Boy’s Home. He was a house councilor and also responsible for the farm livestock and other agricultural activities on the premises. Later on, he became a farm inspector.

 Dan liked working with people and felt success because you can see, quickly, your accomplishments. Besides, working with farmers are the best people to know.

 One day he had a chance to work on the farm directly. After taking a job placement test, he was told that his current job was the best fit for him. Turning down the farm job was a tough decision because he came from a long family line of farmers and always pictured himself as a farmer someday.

 Making good decisions many times comes only after going through a lot of life experiences and Dan had accumulated much. The golden nugget taken from Dan’s story can be distilled down to this; “Don’t try to be something you’re not. Honest with yourself produces the best results.

Acceptance, Patience and Empathy

Jackie Giesing went back to school about 10-12 years ago and was given a writing assignment concerning a phase of history that the class was studying. Jackie chose to interview a Japanese friend that had lived through the internment camps in the U.S.

 The emotional part of the story was the most amazing example of positive values. Japanese U.S. citizens were many times living in the internment camps for at least five years. Conditions were difficult.  Jackie really respects the dignity, patience and perseverance of the Japanese citizens.

 Jackie named her paper, “the Silent Americans” because they endured this most difficult time in an invisible manner. Several years later, Jackie had an opportunity to hire a Cambodian Vietnamese woman in the 4H Club. The Silent Americans story served as a way for Jackie to relate to a person coming to a totally foreign country and starting a new life with many challenges and difficulties. Listening  and responding through acceptance, patience and  empathy.

 These traits will also serve each of us when the unexpected and uncontrollable circumstances occur in our futures.

Unconditional Acceptance

Having a mentor that helps our growing youth or offers wisdom and guidance as an adult is not always available to everyone. Ed Bonner’s past is different. He really hit a home run. Ed has had three mentors in his life.

 His Dad was a tremendous influence to him and his friends. He was a teacher, counselor and coach; all wrapped up into one. Not only was his Dad a beacon for Ed, but Jack Sanchez (HS track coach and teacher) and an elderly gentleman by the name of Paul Yokote provided guidance, wisdom and an example of what good can be gleaned from life with the right attitude and reasoning.

 Polio changed Paul’s life at 13 years old. Ed remembers Paul Yokote as a wheel chair bound gentleman who didn’t complain or consider his health circumstances as a restriction. Great opportunities found their way to Paul. Ed feels that Paul’s behavior, his enthusiasm and attitude inspired everyone; to such a degree that one of the High School buildings was given his name.

 All these gentlemen in Ed’s life presented a tremendous gift to those that came in contact with them; the gift of giving, a contagious attitude and an unconditional acceptance to others.

 These traits will also serve each of us when the unexpected and uncontrollable circumstances occur in our futures.

Love and Respect

Nancy Zabka and her sister lived on a dead end street in a small corner of New Jersey. Life was both innocent and safe. Strong family bonding was built from this very home environment.  She looked up to her parents, especially her Mom. Her Mom sacrificed to give a little more to Nancy and her sister through those years. Nancy’s memories are filled with lots of interactions among both adults and children. In Nancy’s view, her parent’s efforts were a perfect demonstration of a balanced family upbringing.

When Nancy started her own family, she applied the soft but firm approach that she learned from her upbringing with the compatible family bonds that her husband brought from his early years.

Recognizing that today’s parents are very busy, Nancy feels the greatest demonstrated attributes are love and respect. That means unconditional love and a demonstrated respect.  Teaching respect is accomplished by respecting the children, directly. She further emphasized that respect does not mean giving total freedom to the kids. There will be boundaries.

Prejudice in Mississippi

Born and raised in the Los Angeles area during the 1950s and 60s, Lew Sitzer developed a curiosity to know more about the world. At 21, he had heard about the racial circumstances in Mississippi and decided to travel to Mississippi and help the black community register to vote.

 He spent his days traveling door to door within the black community and was given a place to sleep in their homes. Lew really got to know the people that he met and grew to respect them. Poverty was extreme and conditions difficult both within the black communities and also during interactions that he  had with other folks that didn’t want him there.

 Lew recognized that one of the best ways to learn is to go out into the world and experience different cultures and places. In doing this he learned that living life that is fair and decent is a basic want of all people regardless of race. Living and working together is the only behavior that works in the long run. When making decisions in life, build for the long-term.

Mentoring Means Not Doing it Alone

Norm Westmore and his wife live a life of fulfillment in a sleepy little town tucked in the Sierra Nevada mountains. You would never know that Norm’s successes as a mechanical engineer and family man were born from a  difficult upbringing on a farm with no father to guide his development.

Something or someone was looking over Norm’s shoulders because he experienced, around every milestone of his life, mentors that not only believed in him but contributed to motivating Norm to be the best he could and act on his interests in life.

It was the influence of uncles, neighbors around his family’s farm, college professors and bosses that oversaw his working activities that contributed to Norm’s life successes.

Norm has taken these experiences full circle. He and his wife volunteer their time with efforts to provide positive influence to youth and adults that need the wisdom of someone who has already found their way through the trials and tribulations of life’s many choices.

Taking Responsibility and Asking for Help

Marcella is really appreciative, especially right now. Her appreciation is in the opportunity to learn the lessons that she received in her life.

Her code of conduct was in taking self responsibility while recognizing that she was not alone.   In her eyes, this includes acceptance of the consequences of our actions by looking at the big picture.

Marcella gave us an example of a time in her life when she realized that making money, a lot of it, would present a challenge in what she would do with it. She came from the Grapes of Wrath days and knew what money can generate, the good and not good. Having wealth meant making a lot more choices in life. It was those types of decisions that challenged her humility and self responsibility.

In Marcella’s eyes, humility is a big deal. Our self responsibility includes caring for each other and asking for guidance in our decisions.  She has found that it’s vital to ask what there is to learn from experiences that challenge us.

Exercising humility, self responsibility and recognizing that we are all in it together will also serve each of us whenever unexpected and uncontrollable circumstances occur in our futures.

Wisdom Generates Right Actions

Parvati remembers one of the largest fires that swept through her small community in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. IT was a year when mother nature delivered very little precipitation to the foothill areas and this set the stage for forest fires that year.

According to Parvati, it was a County vehicle that started the fire. Once started, winds accelerated the spreading of the fire and made the situation even worse.

The experience of this fire was a reminder that people are more important than things and right actions bring victory.

Parvati found out first hand that patience and wisdom with an attitude of never giving up was the set of  ingredients that helped her small community in the Sierras recovery from such a devastating fire.

Learning Creates Opportunity

Being mechanically inclined, Lowe Robinson began learning to run all the machines in woodshop and that experience directed him into auto shop. Lowe would take as many as four old vehicles per year to his school’s auto shop, fix them and sell them. He learned how to fix cars by doing just that, work on the cars.

Lowe pointed out that learning can be accomplished by yourself, in a school program or even at a local auto shop. Just go in and tell the business owner that you want to learn how to fix cars and you’re willing to do any kind of work in the auto business. Lowe even offers this in his business today.

Learning by getting involved is the best way to adapt into a new business. Lowe sees resourcefulness as the first step to finding opportunities to learn. After that, you just learn to adapt yourself to fit within the new learning experience. It really works.  

Tenacity and Self-Reliance

Growing up in a family of six, Jerry Lawrence remembers the tension in his home as a young elementary age boy.

Although his father tried to support his family, and he was an honest person, personal wounds of his father’s upbringing created a tapestry of emotional and dysfunctional behavior. Jerry’s morning preparations for school were so chaotic that his walk to school usually made him sick to his stomach.

Jerry’s response to dealing with this situation translated  into the development of a highly motivated youth who found employment that helped  him and his siblings afford the most basic needs of life; needs that would not have been available, otherwise.

Jerry was able to cultivate a high level of tenacity that developed a self-reliance in him that achieved a wonderful life of family, community and professional successes.

Meaningful Conversation

Anita Wald-Tuttle, her husband and four children diligently worked towards the family’s ambitions, the American dream that each of us most certainly relate.

 Exhausted from home duties and moving her home to an area that asthmatic patients place at the bottom of the list of desirable neighborhoods, Anita found her life in physical turmoil. Her childhood allergies had developed into serious episodes of asthmatic attacks. One evening her husband came home to a find Anita the color of blue. She was rushed to the emergency room.

 For a day and a half doctors and nurses tried to help Anita, but at one point her heart stopped and she died.

 The good side of this story is Anita came back to life and is with us to this day. The greatest part of this story is her realization that relationship; with each of her family members and society, at large, is  the most important part of life.

Attitude and Opportunity

Sitting in his dining room, Paul Laufman recalls two huge opportunities that presented themselves in his life. One situation required that he say “no” because his long-term vision posed a greater and more realistic success.

His second opportunity came at the age of 56. This time he said, “Yes, I’m going to do this!!” and he did.

His contributions in the aerospace industry have been felt in virtually every space shuttle launch in the program’s history.

Life doesn’t let you know the outcomes when you start out. Paul feels that the most important attribute that he hopes  everyone applies is a great attitude. A positive attitude attracts successes that you never thought possible.

Money Isn't Everything

We have all heard that Money doesn’t buy happiness. Savitri knows. She experienced life in college with many who were in the super wealthy class but not happy.

 Savitri always offered a hand of genuine friendship. It was so sad to see such sadness.

 In her words, money is a lot like electricity. It can light up a room or cause a fire. It depends how it is used.

 She also feels that life is about balance. It’s most important to observe and think about what really brings happiness into our lives.

Unforeseen Problems Yield New Opportunities

General Motors was the employer for multiple generations of Bob York’s family. As a developing adult, Bob told his father that he would never work for General Motors. Bob’s five years in college were completely focused on the health sciences, not car building.

 Well, a unique opportunity occurred at General Motors that required a healthcare specialist. Bob’s Dad suggested Bob visit the human resources department and, guess what, Bob got the job. He and his father ended up not only working for the same company but working with each other on the healthcare project.

 Bob learned that being open, taking risk of failure and letting go of where you think you’re going can guide you to your most satisfying personal and professional path.

 Threats or unforeseen problems yield new opportunities.

Sometimes Tolerance and Humility Gets us Through the Challenge

Marcella lives in Nevada County, California, a beautiful forested landscape in the Sierra Nevada foothills. On this sunny late winter day, I sit in the living room of Marcella Hart’s home and sip on a hot cup of tea.

Marcella is about to share with me memories of her early years as a child and how her mother demonstrated so many good attributes, attributes that Marcella has always tried to apply in her life. The Dust Bowl was a horrendous situation for many in Oklahoma but Marcella, her Mom and sister endured.

As you will hear, Marcella recognizes tolerance and humility as active ingredients in her personality. These attributes empowered her mom to weather the challenging time periods that showed up in her life.

Education is Not Done Alone

May Lawrence grew up in Maine with five sisters and a curiosity of practically everything.

Surprisingly, her parents didn’t have much education. Life was a hardship in those days. If you got through high school, you were considered highly educated.

Education was promoted in May’s family because her Mom and Dad were avid readers. They were self taught in all kinds of topics.

As May reached college age, she quickly recognized that education is a team effort. Educational successes were manifested because family members, including her five sisters worked together to help one another achieve their college degrees.

Tenacity and a Good Listener

Norm Westmore and his wife live a life of fulfillment in a sleepy little town tucked in the Sierra Nevada mountains. You would never know that Norm’s successes as a mechanical engineer and family man were born from a difficult upbringing on a farm with no father to guide his development.

As a youth, Norm contributed to the farm by doing every job that was necessary. He developed an inner strength that farmers glean from attacking, head on, the many problems that need to be resolved to avoid bankruptcy caused by failed crop harvests or the many other surprises that always show up on a farm. Your life depended on it.

Norm fell back on these experiences  as he later became a very successful professional in the telephone company. He would take on problems that many would avoid with the attitude of “Doing what it took”.

Recognizing the importance of these experiences, he has become a “good listener” and encourages people that it’s ok to take risks in life. Become curious how you can solve the challenges that present themselves and never give up, just do what it takes.